How good a friend are you??

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Assalam alaikum wa rehmatullah (May peace and the mercy of Allah be upon you).

I thank Allah( God ) time and again for the blessings he has bestowed upon me and us all. Innumerable and Infinite!

2 years back, I would surely not be in a position to share whatever I have been sharing for a while now if Allah didn’t will it.

Allah states in a verse in the Holy Qur’an

“When truth stands is hurled against falsehood, falsehood perishes and falsehood by its nature is bound to perish” [Al Qur’an 21-18].

Truly, the same happened with me when I began to read the Holy Qur’an. Not only did I find the truth in what the Holy book said but it helped me distinguish things in a better light.

Islam (i.e. submitting one's will in obedience and sincerity to God and acquiringt peace in life) is a perfect way of life. I say it not only because I am a Muslim but because I have understood and realized the teachings of Islam to be the best after reading and studying various other religions too(Alhamdulillah).

It cannot be limited to the word Religion because it is much more than what people simply perceive as ‘Religion’. It is a system decreed by God which makes living easier and worth in every walk of life. Be it One’s relation with God almighty or with parents or with fellow human beings or even nature.

We have been given the Holy Qur’an as the last and final reminder and revelation to mankind and we also have the sunnah (practices or the ways of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w) so that we may live our life in accordance with both and be successful in this life and the hereafter.

As we all know, Man is a social creature. He needs people to interact with be friends with.

I am sure we all have heard quotes like-

“A friend in need is a friend indeed”

“Hold a true friend with both your hands”

For some among us it is easy to make friends. It is a like a hobby. For some, it is a gradual process.

The question is  ‘Is only making friends enough?’

If not then - ‘what kind of friends must one have?’  

We see, people hanging out supposedly enjoying the kind of time they have together smoking (even drinking at times or often), wasting time in vain talks, gossiping, back biting, abusing or doing any sort of unproductive thing.

One may ask - “what Is so wrong in doing it man? This is the age to do all this! Enjoy this moment coz you won’t get to do it when you are old"

I agree with the statement but with a few replacements here and there

I say- ‘Live the moment righteously’ because you don’t even know if you going to see old age or live that long!

Let us see, what Islam says about companionship and friendship!

 Islam urges mankind to have cordial relations with others. It means one must avoid dishonesty and the damaging effects of the company of the wicked and the mischievous. They also say ‘Friends are everywhere but a true friend is very rare’. The first kind of friends are very few however their friendship is like a mirror to you. If we call someone a friend orfriends then why must we not be fair to our friend and want for them that which we want for ourselves.

 The Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.a.w) said- "None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself."

He (s.a.w) also asserted saying- "A true believer is a mirror to his brother. He prevents him from any harm." 

 Friends are well-wishers for their friends, and feel a strong grief when they see them in any kind of distress or suffering. They work hard by all means, by their wealth and their hands to get things back to normal for their friends, and give them all the help they need. They also keep the secrets of their friends.  

So what kind of friends must one have??

§   When you see a friend, he must remind you of God Almighty. After all our creator is the same ONE TRUE CREATOR of the universe.

§   When you sit with him , it increases your faith (Eimaan). This is another significant aspect. Imagine you sitting down with a friend who encourages you to smoke, drink, use dirty filthy language, who doesn’t stop you from disrespecting your parents, who doesn’t really care about you but pretends to?  Where does this fit in? Nowhere!

§  When he speaks to you, it should increases your Knowledge (Ilm). This doesn’t mean knowledgeable in the wrong direction.

§  And when you see his actions, you remember the hereafter (Aakirah). I take this to be an important aspect.  It is common; many of us do things just because our friends are doing it. The actions and deeds of our friends have a great influence upon most of us and on our character.

The holy Prophet Muhammad (S.a.w) rightly said- "A person follows the ways and conducts of his friends." 

I am sure- you all know about some so called friends who carry tales from you to others and from others to you. They give you a true report and a false one follows it. They wish to do so because it is fun fooling around. But what happens?  When people come to know about such friends they start detesting them. So much so that when they say something true, nobody believes them. This is due to the enmity which such people entertain in their heart for people, creating malice in their hearts.

Islam teaches us to Be careful and do our duty to Allah."  These kinds of individuals might call themselves as your friends, but they do more ill-service to you as well as to the society and in the long run.

After a bitter experience a person does nothing but regret over his choice.

The state of such a person is mentioned in the Glorious Qur'an –

"Ah! Woe is to me! Would that I had never taken such a one for a friend! [Al- Qur’an 25:28] 

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) taught us how to choose our friends and also explained the importance of friendship in Islam. He also set an example of how to choose and treat our companions.

He (s.a.w) said, “The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace): From the first, you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof." 

He (s.a.w) said, "A believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other." The Prophet (s.a.w) then clasped his hands with the fingers interlaced (while saying that).

"The similitude of the believers in their mutual love, their mutual mercy, and their mutual affection is like a single body. If any part of it complains of an injury, the entire body responds with sleeplessness and fever."

I learnt that Islam encourages its followers to take righteous people as their companions and to avoid the company of the self-interested, as one might tend to pick up their qualities subconsciously. Every Muslim should try to select the best companion for his or her life span.

We see many of us going astray, not knowing what they are really doing, ignorant of the truth.

i was one of them. yes, its true.. and hence i quoted the verse in the beginning. 

When someone observes a friend taking a wrong and sinful course and is able to restrain him or her, but does not do so, he has actually betrayed his friend. However, Islam permits friendship with people in error, when one's faith (eimaan)is strong. When a Muslim finds out that a friend is committing a sin, then it becomes obligatory to help guide him or her.

Lastly, Always remember that a friend is someone who will express what he or she feels. Friends should be honest with each other and should correct and guide each other when they are in the wrong.

 As mentioned earlier Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said - A true believer is a mirror to his brother. He prevents him from any harm." 

Alhamdulillah..

Blessing from God almighty!

In the name of Allah, most gracious, Most merciful

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, peace and blessing be upon His Messenger.

Assalam alaikum(may peace be upon you).

Alhamdulillah(praise be to God), One of the greatest blessings of God almighty is our Parents.  In Islam, family is a basic social unit and one of the most important relationships is the parent-child relationship.

Allah s.w.t says in the the Holy Qur’an -

Thy Lord hath decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.  [Al-Quran 17:23-24]

The very first time I read this word, it touched my heart.  It is absolutely clear that after Allah s.w.t parents have innumerable favors upon us.  Allah s.w.t has made us interdependent. When we are small and incapable to take care of our needs, Our parents provide us with all that we need even without we asking for it. They do it not for their selfish reasons but because they love us.

We know it is a matter of common courtesy that if a person does some favor we feel obliged to him. We say “Thank you” to express gratitude. But we must know that after Allah s.w.t it our parents who deserve or thanks and dutifulness. We must obey them, serve them and always pray for them so that Allah s.w.t may have mercy on them.

 A man came to the Prophet(s.a.w) and asked him: 'Who deserves the best treatment?'

He(s.a.w) replied:

 “Your mother;”

 The man asked: “then?”

 He(s.a.w) : “Your mother”

The man asked: “then?”

He(s.a.w) : “Your mother”

 The man asked: “And then?”

He(s.a.w) said “Your father.”

 These words above, of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) exalt the status of a mother in particular.  The reason is apparent and obvious. She bears the child for 9 long months and undergoes severe pains in delivering the baby. She spends sleepless nights taking care of her baby and with utmost care. It is the sacrificial nature of a mother that gives her an eminent position in Islam above the father.

A scholar rightly puts it – The mother gets the Gold medal, silver medal and the bronze medal; whereas the father has to satisfied by a mere consolation prize!

Alhamdulillah. Whatever a child does to repay back to his or her mother can never really enough. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t do what we must!

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) also said –

Beneath the mothers feet lies heaven.

In father’s pleasure is God’s pleasure and in father’s displeasure is God’s displeasure!

How can a man be grateful to others when he cannot be grateful to His Lord and his parents? It becomes incumbent upon us to be with them as they have been with us all our life. Allah s.w.t reminds us in the Qur’an that one of the keys to success is by being dutiful to our parents. Always!

"And We have enjoined upon man to be kind to his parents…" [Al-Quran 29:8]

Today we see that many of us are moving far away from our parents. Besides not being good we hardly have some time to even sit and spend with them. How unfortunate is the person who gets the golden chance to serve his parents when they grow old and comfort them but doesn’t utilize it! Instead doing what is must many of us hurl harsh words at our parents and treat them like trash. We conveniently forget that if it were us in their place and our children would treat us harshly, we would simply feel miserable, left alone and desperate.  Alhamdulillah, there are many who respect their parents, love them and obey them! Blessed be such!

The Qur’an urges us to be soft spoken towards our parents and show kindness in our behavior.

These morals are for life and one must bring them into practice.  We see “ old age homes” or “senior citizens homes” have become pretty common in the west. It is sad to see that busy children with their busy lives do not have time to spare for those who brought them up with intense care and love. It is their right and what right do we have to curb it form them?

At times we do take our parents for granted and undermine their importance. Let our inner voices speak- Do we honor them the way they should be honored? Or are we neglecting them and running away from deeds dearest to Allah s.w.t?  

May Allah s.w.t guide us all !

Ameen..